Trump Damage Report – 4/11/2017
The ‘Did Trump’s Campaign Collude’ Debate Is Over. The Only Question Now Is How Much. (The New Yorker) – WHAT?! How long has it been stated that Trump was in bed with the Russians?! But her emails. But Bernie’s plan would have led us to ruin. But raising taxes on the rich. But we needed that stupid wall. But at least Trump isn’t black. What’s this? It’s the comprehensive list of empty pillows the GOP faithful will cling tightly to over the coming months as they slowly become cognizant of the monster they elected/the terrible thing they have done. Brace yourselves friends, if you thought the defenses of Trump were stupid before just wait till they get going on defending actual treasons!
Donald Trump Jr. tells Sean Hannity: ‘In retrospect I probably would have done things a little differently’ (Fox news) – Hah, no way! “In one of the messages, Goldstone told Trump Jr. that Russian officials were offering “some official documents and information that would incriminate Hillary [Clinton]” as part of “Russia and its government’s support for Mr. Trump.” Hindsight is 20/20, or as the Democrats are beyond tired of saying at this point: WE TRIED TO FREAKING WARN YOU ALL ABOUT THIS GUY…
GOP Campaign Veterans Say They Wouldn’t Have Met With Foreign Agent Offering Dirt (Huffpost) – You shouldn’t jump at opportunities offered to you by foreign governments which validate that such governments are actively helping your campaign, rookies! If you wanna do that, you do it the same way candidates talk to super pacs/the same way Trump called out to Russian hackers to hack the DNC/the same way the Trump’s Russian handlers have been instructing him to do it for years! You make a statement on a public network and the Russian agents active in your current nation will get the freaking hint! ROOKIES!
Trump Aides Freaking Out Over Don Jr.’s Russia Email: The ‘Sum Of All Fears’ (Daily Beast) – The GOP and Trumps’ cabinet is in full, let me repeat that in my italicized accent, full freak mode over the emails that were just posted to the internet. People are excited, maybe this is the thing which takes down Trump finally. Don’t get too excited, this is one degree of separation in the corruption and Sr has the ability to pardon offenses before they are prosecuted. So start your watches now because that pardon is getting warmed up in a back room on capitol hill!
Sen. Ted Cruz Dismisses Junior’s Scandal: None Of My Constituents Care About Russian Collusion (Rawstory) – But of course they don’t care! This is like the fans of a football team finding out their QB raped someone or beat their wife or pretty much did anything other than sit down during the Pledge of Allegiance. Nah, we don’t care if these guys are literally all in bed with foreign agents committing actual treason against the country I hold so dear, at least they didn’t give the other team the ball! Liberal tears! Winning!
Trump On Junior’s Posting Of Emails: My Son Is A High-Quality Person And I Applaud His Transparency (Reuters) – Yes, thank you liar in chief for showing us what to do when you get caught with your pants down. When the thing you’ve been saying didn’t happen really did happen, applaud the honesty and transparency you possessed to finally tell everyone about it! Let us all take a moment to reflect on the actual treason we’re all committing in our lives, and maybe tell people about right after they have irrefutable proof of what you’ve done. Atta boy Twitler and Twitler, if only we were deserving of the example you set.
Democrats Slam Attorney General Jeff Sessions Over Secret Address To Viciously Anti-LGBT Hate Group (Right Wing Watch) – I don’t know guys, the GOP have always said that they are the true champions of LGBT causes. What proof do I have of this? Oh well you misunderstand the strategy, see. The strategy is simply really, they only appear to support all the anti-LGBT groups and causes but really they are super secret double agents and… Psst, listen up because I’m only gonna reveal this secret once: If you are LGBT and American the GOP leadership wants you to convert to being a straight person or die! See! I told you they were the true Champions of the LGBT cause!
Jeff Sessions: mandatory minimum sentences protected us from violent crime. Research: nope. (Vox) – This article title is clearly fake news. You can identify it by looking for keywords like: Research, Democrats say/said, Hillary, Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Pelosi, Liberals, Progressives, Black Lives Matter. Let’s face it, if it didn’t come from Trump or Putin you definitely can’t confirm that the source isn’t biased. That said our favorite Keebler lawyer is doing more for Private Prison’s than even Clinton would have, and if you have investments in the private prison companies you can take that to the bank! Literally! Private prison stocks are up 100% since his win, and this will only drive them higher!
Bill allocates $1.6 billion for Trump’s border wall (The Hill) – STOCK TIP GUYS – Find out which construction companies Twitler and his gang are invested heavily in and get in before the single company no-bid contract get announced. It’s GOP tradition that you put all the eggs in one basket so it’s easier for them to insider trade it, which it’s perfectly legal for them to collude on legislation they know will affect stock prices and then buy those stocks based on their own information! MAGIC!
Senate GOP health bill quietly brings back preexisting conditions (Vox) – Republicans, fighting the good fight to allow America’s middle class to finally whither away and die. They aren’t the heroes we deserve, they’re the heroes we need right now. Because they can break this country, they can shoulder that burden. Only they can rebuild the Confederate States of America. God bless.